Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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