she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
