You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
