Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
