I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
