She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
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No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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