my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
