I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
tell me about the eggs
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