I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
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