She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
