Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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