Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
