look no pants
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
