I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
