This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
