i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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