Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
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And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
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Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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