I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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