i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Girls should come with a carfax report
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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