I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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