so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
