You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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