ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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