Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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