Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
