she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
