Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Randomize
