it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize