Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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