i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
