you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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