hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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