I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
