No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
