This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
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