If i could tip my vagina, i would.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
