Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
