Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
