left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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