At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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