There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
