"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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