It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I have feelings that need drinking.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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