you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize
