I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.