So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
