I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.