Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.