I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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