I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
