I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
