My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
