I want to stick my p in your. b.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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