i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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