We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
