Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
