That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
