I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
