: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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